SEX & SEXUALITY

A Short History of Sex & Sexuality … Retelling Truths

A Short History of Sex & Sexuality … Retelling Truths

“Present fears are less than horrible imaginings” (Shakespeare, Macbeth) To consider and be comfortable with authentic displays of variant genders and sexualities seems such a basic, healthy, productive, powerful, potentially opening and enlivening premise; yet,...

Roles, BDSM & Sex in Gertrude Stein’s Erotic Writing

Roles, BDSM & Sex in Gertrude Stein’s Erotic Writing

A fluidity of roles and desires surfaces in all of Gertrude Stein’s erotic literature. In my book The Switch: Freedoms in Sexuality, Desire, Gender & Identity I establish a new and exciting reading of Stein’s work. I engage in this process by embracing the...

Safe Sex Spaces are as Important and Needed as a Yankees Game

Safe Sex Spaces are as Important and Needed as a Yankees Game

While it may seem an odd comparison, the reality is that in both places folks can come together for convivial community through belonging, regardless of their political or social affiliation.  If we consider public spaces as locations of community connection and...

How to Increase Her Pleasure & Have Her See Stars

How to Increase Her Pleasure & Have Her See Stars

You may be a really great lover and you might have a rock'n sex life.  You might be committed to co-creating this with your present or future partner.  Wherever you are at, what benefits our intimate unions is us 1) choosing to be committed to them...

GENDER

Understanding & Defining Gender & Sexual Variancy

Understanding & Defining Gender & Sexual Variancy

On Gender… For the majority of people one's gender is simple, clear, and defined: one is either a man or a woman. There is nothing complicated about it.   Our society has certain "womanly" or "manly" behaviours, traits, and expectations around what a man or...

Thinking Outside of the Dual Gender System

Thinking Outside of the Dual Gender System

Gender Divisions as The Most Common Perversity In Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex Pat Califia asserts that our dependence and belief in sex differences is primarily driven by sexual pleasure; this pleasure thus becomes the most common perversion. The fact that...

50 Shades of Cool: Understanding & Defining Queer and Genderqueer

50 Shades of Cool: Understanding & Defining Queer and Genderqueer

A popular term used to describe gender and sexual variants and variancy is the term genderqueer.  Some use the term genderqueer as an umbrella term for all gender identities that are outside the heteronormative gender binary system, a system full of assumptions...

THEORY

Switching 101

Switching 101

What is Switching... To switch, and the process of engaging in the action of switching, can most broadly be described as dwelling in, and having the intention of, honoring, exploring, and sharing different, switchable aspects of a person: multiple or varied states of...

Identity, The Mind & Love in Jeanette Winterson’s Powerbook

Identity, The Mind & Love in Jeanette Winterson’s Powerbook

“You need a label. But I’m not a piece of furniture with the price on the back.” (Jeanette Winterson, The Powerbook , 65). A facet at the heart of Jeanette Winterson's The Powerbook is the freedom that comes when no identity is present, when identity is not...

Moving Beyond Fixed Identities

Moving Beyond Fixed Identities

Judith Butler drew attention to the paradox of foundationalist frames which would fix or constrain “the very ‘subjects’ that it hopes to represent and liberate” in her groundbreaking book Gender Trouble.  She asked us to consider that “if identities were no longer...

RELATIONSHIPS

Are you Settling? 10 Good Reasons to Move on

Are you Settling? 10 Good Reasons to Move on

Do you think you might be settling in your new or current relationship?  Do you want to be loved & cherished yet that isn't your experience?  Are you interested in a long-term partnership and questioning if the person you are dating is someone you want to continue...

That Time of the Month: What Guys & Gals Need to Know

That Time of the Month: What Guys & Gals Need to Know

That Time of the Month.  A woman's moon cycle.  Menses.  Menstruation.  Period.  She's on her rag.  Red Flag.  Our culture has many terms, distorted views, & beliefs on the monthly ritual of a woman's womb shedding.   Some folks are knowledgeable, empowered &...

CULTURE

Kicking Sexism & Ageism To The Curb

Kicking Sexism & Ageism To The Curb

Sexy, Older Women ... The recent media hoopla surrounding Susan Sarandon's choice to show her cleavage at the 2016 22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, where she was nominated for an Outstanding Performance award, has once again raised the discussion on how our...

For the Love of the Great Va Jay-Jay

For the Love of the Great Va Jay-Jay

Make room Vagina Monologues, the British are coming!  British artist Jamie McCartney has a goal: to change female body image through art.  Over the course of five years, McCartney self-funded and created a very powerful woman loving exhibit:  a 9 meter long sculpture...

LYRICAL EXCERPTS & FRAGMENTS

On Writing: Memoir and other Points of View

On Writing: Memoir and other Points of View

In The Situation and the Story, Vivian Gornick raises what one might consider one of the “arts” to be accessed in memoir: point of view.  For me, this is a most powerful concept to consider and one I teach and speak about a great deal.  It may seem obvious,...

Cyprinal Spreading Murmurs

Cyprinal Spreading Murmurs

Cyprinal Spreading Murmurs I am you but outside of you and here right here in front of you. You say this is all so very new to you   Do I admit my newness? I wonder how caressing and touching and loving can be new I am a woman and that seems reason enough           ...

Talking to Dinosaurs

Talking to Dinosaurs

My son and I read a lot of books together. Most days "Dinosaurs and all that Rubbish," by Michael Foreman, makes the cut. It's a book about a capitalist man setting out to a distant star, and while Earth is vacated, the dinosaurs come back to life and return the...